14 products
14 products
14 products
Read My Lip Balm
Regular price $5.00 USD Save $-5.00 USDWe've heard that a lot of you use our more salty lip balms as not-so-subtle messages in uncomfortable social situations, so we thought we'd give you a few more (even saltier) options. Now you can stock your drawer with a full spectrum of silent retorts and be prepared for whoever shows up in front of your desk!
Each balm in this series has its own insult and its own flavor, so choose wisely! And no, Karen, we can't switch up the flavors.
This balm is designed to melt into your lips, not into your jeans! Which is good, because I keep mine in my butt pocket. That would be embarrassing... It's got lots of yumminess in it: natural beeswax (you'll smell a little extra honey), unrefined cocoa butter (you'll smell a little cocoa too), unrefined shea butter, jojoba, sweet almond, and grape seed oils, vitamin E, and flavor oil. It's carefully formulated to give you the perfect balance of protection and softness, so you won't end up feeling greasy or waxy. My mom says, "Ooo, creeamy" every time she uses hers, if that's any indication. She has a little flair for the dramatic.
It comes in an oval plastic twist-up tube, which holds .15oz/4g and is individually shrink wrapped.
Suck It, Cancer Lip Balm
Regular price $5.00 USD Save $-5.00 USDThe one thing that sucks harder than Karen.
Unscented so as not to interfere with treatments.
This balm is designed to melt into your lips, not into your jeans! Which is good, because I keep mine in my butt pocket. That would be embarrassing... It's got lots of yumminess in it: natural beeswax (you'll smell a little extra honey), unrefined cocoa butter (you'll smell a little cocoa too), unrefined shea butter, jojoba, sweet almond, and grape seed oils, vitamin E, and flavor oil. It's carefully formulated to give you the perfect balance of protection and softness, so you won't end up feeling greasy or waxy. My mom says, "Ooo, creeamy" every time she uses hers, if that's any indication. She has a little flair for the dramatic.
It comes in an oval plastic twist-up tube, which holds .15oz/4g and is individually shrink wrapped.
Suck It, COVID Lip Balm
Regular price $5.00 USD Save $-5.00 USDWe don’t want to offend anyone, but we’ve decided that this COVID-19 virus kind of sucks. We’re definitely ready for it to be over so we can get back to normal, but this thing is really scary, so we’re staying home, washing our hands, and getting real creative with the liquor cabinet.
Which is why this lip balm tastes like bathtub gin, just like my Great Great Aunt Dora made back in 1918 (and, let’s be honest, all the way until the end of Prohibition).
And because we’d really like the scientists to get this thing under control and skip that whole second wave, we’ll be donating $1 from each lip balm sold (up to $500) to the World Heath Organization.
This balm is designed to melt into your lips, not into your jeans! Which is good, because I keep mine in my butt pocket. That would be embarrassing... It's got lots of yumminess in it: natural beeswax (you'll smell a little extra honey), unrefined cocoa butter (you'll smell a little cocoa too), unrefined shea butter, jojoba, sweet almond, and grape seed oils, vitamin E, and flavor oil. It's carefully formulated to give you the perfect balance of protection and softness, so you won't end up feeling greasy or waxy. My mom says, "Ooo, creeamy" every time she uses hers, if that's any indication. She has a little flair for the dramatic.
It comes in an oval plastic twist-up tube, which holds .15oz/4g and is individually shrink wrapped.
Noir Lip Balm
Regular price $5.00 USD Save $-5.00 USDBaby, with our balm and your lips, we could go places.
Flavor: black cherry + bourbon
This balm is designed to melt into your lips, not into your jeans! Which is good, because I keep mine in my butt pocket. That would be embarrassing... It's got lots of yumminess in it: natural beeswax (you'll smell a little extra honey), unrefined cocoa butter (you'll smell a little cocoa too), unrefined shea butter, jojoba, sweet almond, and grape seed oils, vitamin E, and flavor oil. It's carefully formulated to give you the perfect balance of protection and softness, so you won't end up feeling greasy or waxy. My mom says, "Ooo, creeamy" every time she uses hers, if that's any indication. She has a little flair for the dramatic.
It comes in an oval plastic twist-up tube, which holds .15oz/4g and is individually shrink wrapped.
Rum & Cola Lip Balm
Regular price $5.00 USD Save $-5.00 USDOh, Little Rabbit - Lemon Produce Bag
Regular price $12.00 USD Save $-12.00 USDPumpkin Chip Lip Balm
Regular price $5.00 USD Save $-5.00 USDPossibly our most-requested lip balm flavor, this one's been a long time coming! We finally found the perfect just plain pumpkin spice to pair with deep dark chocolate.
This balm is designed to melt into your lips, not into your jeans! Which is good, because I keep mine in my butt pocket. That would be embarrassing... It's got lots of yumminess in it: natural beeswax (you'll smell a little extra honey), unrefined cocoa butter (you'll smell a little cocoa too), unrefined shea butter, jojoba, sweet almond, and grape seed oils, vitamin E, and flavor oil. It's carefully formulated to give you the perfect balance of protection and softness, so you won't end up feeling greasy or waxy. My mom says, "Ooo, creeamy" every time she uses hers, if that's any indication. She has a little flair for the dramatic.
It comes in an oval plastic twist-up tube, which holds .15oz/4g and is individually shrink wrapped.
Eudora Perfume Oil
Regular price $10.00 USD Save $-10.00 USDFlamenco Perfume Oil
Regular price $10.00 USD Save $-10.00 USDA super happy blend of Peach, Plumeria, and Pink Grapefruit. It smells like my shower in the 90s. Very Angela Chase before she met Rayanne Graff.
About .3oz in a little glass bottle complete with roll-on thinger. Individually shrink wrapped, and tested on friends, not animals.
The carrier oils I use are fractionated coconut oil and unrefined hemp seed oil, which make for a light, non-greasy feel when applied. The vitamin e is in there as an antioxidant. You'll notice the shocking lack of alcohol.
Ingredients: Fractionated Coconut Oil; Unrefined Hemp Seed Oil; Fragrance; Tocopherol (Vitamin E)
Fig & Forest Cold Process Soap
Regular price $8.00 USD Save $-8.00 USDFrench Lilac Perfume Oil
Regular price $10.00 USD Save $-10.00 USDEdelweiss Perfume Oil
Regular price $10.00 USD Save $-10.00 USDSweet and green, this is a blend of honey, crushed green leaves, sweet orange, and a little bitter almond. It's surprisingly fresh and Alpine meadow-like.
Fun fact: Back in the day, German soldiers climbed great heights to retrieve this flower and prove their worth. Pretty badass.
About .3oz in a little glass bottle complete with roll-on thinger. Individually shrink wrapped, and tested on friends, not animals.
The carrier oils I use are fractionated coconut oil and unrefined hemp seed oil, which make for a light, non-greasy feel when applied. The vitamin e is in there as an antioxidant. You'll notice the shocking lack of alcohol.
Ingredients: Fractionated Coconut Oil; Unrefined Hemp Seed Oil; Fragrance; Tocopherol (Vitamin E)
Oakmoss + Sandalwood Cold Process Soap
Regular price $8.00 USD Save $-8.00 USDSweet and musky and woodsy all in one, this has me writing historical romance novels in my head about a morally ambiguous collier and the printer’s daughter with matching smudges who taught him about labor unions and feelings and... Sorry, I’ll go take a shower.
About 5oz per bar.
Superfatted to 5%, tested on friends, not animals. Each bar comes in its own little muslin bag, wrapped in a recycled paper band, printed with title and ingredients.
Ingredients: Water; Lye; Coconut, Palm, Olive, and Canola Oils; Shea Butter; Fragrance; Bamboo Charcoal; Safflower Petals
Day Drinker Cold Process Soap
Regular price $8.00 USD Save $-8.00 USDThis one takes me immediately to a scene of cruise schedules and paper umbrellas, or in pandemic terms, Malibu and pineapple juice in your home office at 2pm on a Wednesday.
Scent: orange, pineapple, freesia
About 5oz per bar.
Superfatted to 5%, tested on friends, not animals. Each bar comes in its own little muslin bag, wrapped in a recycled paper band, printed with title and ingredients.
Ingredients: Water; Lye; Coconut, Palm, Olive, and Canola Oils; Shea Butter; Fragrance; Alkanet Root; Titanium Dioxide; Turmeric Powder; Hibiscus Petals
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